Hangout Review
The Solid-Gold Hot Toddy
My Stomach: Chicago, IL
Jan 5, 2005
Why is it that when you have a cold, if you knock back a few drinks, you're being foolish, but if you slug half-a-bottle of cough syrup, you are taking care of yourself? I'll tell you why: this world is full of shit. The reason cough syrup makes you feel better is because it's narcotic. Like all narcotics, its aim is to make you forget. In this case, you're invited to forget that you have a dry, scratchy throat and blocked sinuses, and trip-out extra heavy on an episode of Seinfeld you've already seen seven times. Booze is all about forgetting too, but for my liver-spot, I'll take a Hot Toddy over a thimble of Robitussin any day. In fact, when I get sick, I guzzle Hot Toddies and pretend that I'm Doc Holiday. A Hot Toddy is usually brandy, honey, lemon juice and boiling water, all mixed together in your favorite Garfield mug. But I've modified the recipe to befit the circumstance of the cold I'm currently battling.
There was a New Year's Eve party in my apartment last week, and someone brought over a bottle of Patron Tequila that was hardly touched. Patron is made from Weaber Tequilana Blue Agave plants, grown high in the mountains of Jalisco, Mexico. The agave is processed by hand, and the resulting tequila is aged in small oak barrels. Patron costs about $50 for 750 milliliters, so mixing it with lemon juice and honey might represent some level of sacrilege. Regardless, my south-of-the-border Hot Toddies--or Bebidas Caliente as I've been calling them--are the best the world has ever known. I can't help but wonder if Doc Holiday drank tequila while trying to beat his tuberculosis into submission, so instead I've been playing make believe Juan Valdez, leading my cat around the apartment by a hemp rope, like he's a burro. I'm one bad fucking hombre (hack, sniffle, hack).
