Web Exclusive
Hello Astronaut, Goodby Television
Interviewed by Amanda Holzer
Click here to download an .mp3 (2.7 mb) of "Skate Or Die" from the album Pixelated Math Costumes and listen to it while you read the article!
Luis: Bonjour.
Amanda: Ok, so first I have to tell you that Sam and Andy don’t like anyone to talk about their bands because they think that’s boring, so we have to talk about other stuff that isn’t boring.
What do you guys think about me?
Matt: Amanda? Amanda’s awesome.
Luis: You’re lovely.
Dani: Amanda is by far the most amazing person that I’ve ever set eyes on in my whole life.
Tori: Amanda is the best thing that has ever happened to this band.
Are you guys aware that the only people in this band that aren’t ethnic are the only ones who look like they’re ethnic in photographs?
Tori: I am aware of this.
Dani: Wait, I look like I’m ethnic?
Yeah.
Tori: I do too?
Luis: And I look like a white boy.
Luis looks white and Matt looks like a total normal awesome guy and you guys look…
Tori: What do we look like?
Uhm…Mexican and Chinese.
So what do you guys want to say about the set you just played?
Tori: I feel like it went like shit but everyone said the last song was amazing.
Dani: Do I need to say I messed up a lot?
Tori: I messed up the first fucking song.
The coolest thing about your band is when you tell everyone that you fucked up, and here’s the joke me and Britt tell late at night: that Matt never messes up.
Matt: Really? I make a lot of mistakes.
Tori: Matt’s the biggest fuck-up in the band.
Luis: I think he makes a lot mistakes because everyone looks at him when he messes up.
Dani: Yeah, actually we had to have a band discussion, Matt’s like, “can you guys not look at me when I mess up because it makes me feel really weird.”
Uhm, so Matt, you had friends here tonight which is crazy.
Matt: Oh. Yeah.
Ok, so Tori, what do you want for a graduation gift? I keep asking Britt what should we get you and then I suggested one of those balloons at the mall where you can put stuffed animals inside of them?
Tori: I want a lot of money and a lot of underwear, because I don’t like doing my laundry.
Yeah I stopped wearing underwear.
Dani: I have to wear them under skirts because I feel really uncomfortable when I don’t, and I only have like two pairs of underwear so I have to, like, find them. It’s shit.
It’s called Inside Out Day, two times the underwear if you wear it inside out.
Luis: I went into Dani’s room and she had a Bush thing on her wall. (cool-as-hell 90’s band, not current, cool-as-hell president -ed.).
Dani: I have a feeling this isn’t going to be funny at all when it’s written.
It’s ok if it’s not I guess, I’m just gonna make up stuff that you say.
Who’s your biggest fan?
Dani: My little sister.
Matt: That guy Cole, every time I ever see him he’s like head-banging.
Luis: There’s this guy that goes to Sizzler, his name is James and he has Egyptian tattoos all over his body and he said he really liked our song “Masterpiece Backwards.”
Dani: They show this concert footage of people at Marilyn Manson shows carving Marilyn Manson into their arms and I’m really into people doing that at our shows.
Carving Marilyn Manson’s name or your names?
Dani: Either.
Luis: Yeah, we really want a goth following.
I know you do, well Matt doesn’t.
Dani: Yeah, and if you can fly that’s like a lot better.
You don’t want industrial goth kids, right? You want like lace witch kids?
Dani: Dude, fucking witch kids…
Right, you want like secret spell kids and not like insane clown posse kids…
Matt, Luis, and Dani: Noooooooo….
Tori: What the fuck is that?
Do you guys want to be famous?
Tori: Yes.
Luis: Yes.
Dani: Uhm.
Luis: You wouldn’t mind.
Dani: I wouldn’t mind. I don’t really need to be famous, I just don’t want to ever have to work again, and I know I don’t have to – to all my fucking anarchist post-leftist homies out there – but like, I don’t really want to be a squatter.
What do you guys want to, like, do?
Luis: Right now?
Like for the next long while?
Tori: Well like I was thinking if the band didn’t work out, maybe doing marine biology.
So you want to ride dolphins, Tori?
Tori: I just want to play with them.
Dani: That is like every little girl’s dream and you have kept it and that’s like so amazing.
Tori: And if not, then I want to go to Spain and do…I don’t know what, study literature? And then my last resort is probably…massage therapy.
Whoa!
Luis: I don’t have any goals.
Awww, you do too! I’m going to take Luis in one day, and be like, “oh Luis I’m so glad your alive!”
Luis: Totally. Project Greenlight! Tomorrow night!
Dani: wait, you guys are gonna watch that?
Yeah we watch it every week. And sometimes Britt’s on the Internet and it’s just me and Luis sitting there and that’s insanely awesome.
You know its coming up on a year that I’ve known you guys.
Dani: Whoa, we should have an anniversary party.
Tori: I remember exactly what I was wearing and what you were wearing.
Luis: I was wearing my Confusion Is Sex shirt.
I remember the entire night, Dani and Matt were like leaning up against the wall – and I was like, “hiii!” And you guys were not having any of my shit. Dani was wearing a ‘vote’ button and I said something like, “hey its cool to vote,” but she was like…
Luis: ”No it’s not…”
“Not really.”
Dani: I’m really sorry about that.
No, because now that I know you, when I see you being weird to other people I’m like, “Yeah! Give 'em tons of shit.”
