Indian Summer, 2005
Guys,
Hey, um, we’re sorta bored.
Popular Culture is a deep well filled with neat words and sounds and interesting stories and easy stuff to make fun of, but it’s not really doing it for us lately.
If you’re bored, you’re boring goes the maxim.
We’re boring.
We’re not really accomplishing what we set out for with the print edition of Fran. To be honest, we haven’t really put our all into it, but that’s because we’re boring. Seriously, you should see the staff out at parties lately. We get really wasted and talk about ourselves with each other, sharing cigarettes in the corner. We used to start French comps and human pyramids, wrastle to our favorite tunes from high school, get kicked out, screw on the floor.
Fortunately, we’ve begun a new project. It’s going to take a long time to do. And it’s going to be fucking astounding!
We’ll still be updating the website (there’s new stuff there now, and there’s no pressure to make it *totally wacky* or anything, so it should be pretty good), but we’re happy to put the magazine to rest for a little while. We spent the rest of our ad money on whores to celebrate. And Narnack still owes us money so don’t buy any of their records.
Regards,
Fran
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8/17/05
1) A Wives interview from the last print issue is online now.
2) The weekly web exclusives are going funly, albe-It's a bit baffling to me that they aren't all just about malt liquor. See the latest; a guide to DIY Ethics.
3) No one around here's very enthusiastic about the summer anymore, but maybe we can all get some hollerin' going for The Sunset Junction Street Faire? Look for the second annual Fran Magazine Sunset Junction Miniature Teen Issue for free around LA and at the street faire. We vomit at these sorts of things quite a bit.
4) The new issue (#10!) is bubbling up as well.
5)I think there might be some stuff about space in it. Like, we'll answer questions about the actual and exact size of space and have jokes like this:
Why didn't the Dog Star laugh at this joke?
It was too Sirius!
6) idears (at) franmagazine (dot) com
mega volcanoes,
fran |
7/7/05
There are multiple web exclusives for this week because the IT department is out of the office for a little bit. They're off to Nicaragua for a technology retreat to learn about cascading style sheets and volcanoes.
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6/30/05
This is how it went:
Andy: Hey Sam, d’you want to make a magazine?
Sam: Yeeeaaaaaaaahhh!!
This is how it should of gone:
Andy: Hey Sam, d’you want to kiss some musician and record label ass?
Sam: FUCK Yeeeaaaaaaaahhh!!
Here’re a couple more articles from the last issue. We spoke with the dudes from the The Books about relationships, machines that blow smoke rings, and parties. The gals from CocoRosie were nice to talk to us and understandably glared at us when we asked which one daddy liked better. (Click on them here or up above in the pink contents area.)
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6/7/05
So this is how it's going to go for awhile: I will have a new web exclusive up every week. You see the first one now? Up there under the header? It'll always be right around there. Then, in the column on the right, there'll be web exclusives that aren't quite as new or links to some old and favorite articles.
Did you know that fedora-dangling magician Harry Anderson (Judge Harry T. Stone on Night Court) has the word "fun" tattooed on his arm? It was a plot point in the pilot episode of the Court, but he actually has the tattoo. It's real shitty, like a prison tattoo, a clown prison tattoo.
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6/2/05
A few news bits:
There're some new sections: an events page, a music section, and movie section. You're free to navigate your way over to them at anytime.
There's an interview with rock's very own Hello Astronaut, Goodby Television to kick off the music section.
The other day there were kittens wrasslin' in the courtyard behind our office. Does cuteness rev your engine? I almost came.
We had a press conference in MacArthur Park last weekend to outline our 2 year plan and speak about the sea. (See the events page to check out the press release.) It was a hot day and this gentleman was grateful to get a chilled Dixie Cup full of rum and Big Fizz cola:
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5/6/05
There will be several new items going on the site in the next couple of weeks. Like today we added some stuff about wild cats that live in what's left of the Ambassador Hotel and a book report by Dave Carnie. The latter reminds us of how much we miss Big Brother Magazine.
Also, we will be holding a press conference in response to rumors floating around concerning the status of Fran Magazine and the Sea. It'll be at MacArthur Park in Los Angeles. UPDATE!!! This has been postponed! I guess the status of Fran Magazine is yet to be determined. The Sea, well, it won't hold still long enough for us to get a good beat on it/Andrew's afraid of kelp. Check back soon for a press release with more detailed information.
Fran |
4/29/05
"The Collaboration Issue" is done and available. Some stuff is on the site and some more will follow. Most of it, however, is only viewable in the print version.
Hosting The Mae Shi's last show at Spaceland was fun. I hope that dude that got body slammed off the stage is ok. We all were a little caught up in the moment, I think. We don't usually participate in emcee on audience violence.
Love,
Fran |
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3/24/05
We haven’t updated the news in a while because, lately, we’ve been busy building things like skate ramps and relationships, but we’re still around. The office is a buzz with the new issue. It’s collaboration-themed and nothing short of sophisticated. You’ll see it on newsstands and on this site in mid-April. In the meantime here’s a photo of two awfully large snails (Achatina fulica) from Eastern Africa:
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2/15/05
The store is up and running. (Click here.) You can buy single back issues and t-shirts right now and soon we'll have tons more.
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1/26/05
Saturday February 12th in Los Angeles, CA @ Ghetto Gloss (2380 Glendale Blvd.) Release Party for The Not Not Fun Records Valentines Day Cassette!
Feat. This Song Is A Mess, Quem Quaeritis, Whitman, Weirdo/Begeirdo, Abe Vigoda, Fran Magazine, Sad Smile Happy, The Antarcticans.
All Ages, FREE!!! from 8pm to Midnight.
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1/18/05
Hey! Fran #8: Volume 3, Issue 1: “The Semi Formal/Only a Few Major Fuck-ups/Little Bad Taste-Whole Lotta Rosie Issue” has made its way, via wobbly floor dolly, from the printers to our office and will soon hit newsstands, like, every-fukkin-where. You can read some of the articles on the site, but let’s not forget the printed word, lest she forget us. Order Fran directly by subscribing or through some mail order distributors.
Did anyone else watch the new Burns deal on PBS about Jack Johnson? Not only was Johnson an unbeatable bear in the boxing ring, but also he invented a special wrench (!) and, when an acquaintance asked Johnson why white women were attracted to black men, he said, “Because we eat cold eels and think distant thoughts.” We’ll be busy the next few weeks working that quote into our mission statement.
We sort of love you and hope to see you soon,
Fran
Jack Johnson's wrench
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12/13/04
We're really busy with The Semi-formal Issue. Sometimes we want to quit and just go drink tall boys with our new neighbors. (Our office has moved downtown.) Then we see graffiti like this, we squeal a bit, put the tall boys in to-go bags and push forward.
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11/16/04
We've formed an email club! You can join by filling out that little form to my right (your left). Also, the back issues are all up with lots of naughty things to read about. On a personal note, I've developed mild Carpal Tunnel Syndrome as a result of all the clicking involved in the creation of this website. This might seem like a plea for sympathy, but I know sympathy doesn't exist on the Internet. It's actually a tale of triumph, as I've instituted a wrist stretching regiment and it's taken care of the pain! The rest of the Fran office is either stoked about autumn, quarrelling with the mailman or e-flirting with the choicest West Coast rock publicists. So, we're buzzing along towards the new issue and hope to keep regularly updating the site, so please check back! |
10/28/04
Does anyone know anything about canoeing? We're going to try it soon and any advise would be appreciated. Word is there's a man in the canoe and we're supposed to tease him? Huh? |
10/13/04
We have a new website design and it goes a little something like this... (Now you surf around.)
There's still a lot of work to do, so you'll see a bunch of coming soon pages. |
8/19/04
Hi guys. It's been a while cause we've been busy with the new issue, distribution, photoshopping weiners on pictures of stuff, organizing things, some complaining, probably getting a divorce (it's not sad, though), slam poetry, getting into ice tea (the drink), wrasslin' with potential advertisers and other such horseshits. But the new issue has a street date of October 1st. Thank you for being patient! We're making a mini issue to pass out at the Sunset Junction Street Fair and you can download a .pdf version of it right here. YAY!:
Also we saw Kimya Dawson last night and she's amazing. We're gonna do an interview with her this weekend and I'm going to try and win her a stuffed animal at the street fair. Check out her website (you can download a nice song): www.kimyadawson.com
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7/30/04
Baby rhinos look like Down Syndrome children. I'll name this one "Pudding":
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7/19/04
Hi. It's time we met each other. Chances are you might not even like us cause we'll be unprepared and probably drunk, but the music will be great. Come see The Mae Shi, Central City Transmission and Pogi Brown (maybe). It's all a party thrown by the dears at Not Not Fun Records at the Ghetto Gloss gallery in Silverlake (2380 Glendale Blvd.) on Thursday the 22nd, 9pm. Here's a flier (.gif). Weeeeeeeeeeee. |
7/13/04
Commercial space travel is right around the corner. While you wait you can take Fran's Space Ride. Look for it in the Extra Specials section down below. It's Lance Bass approved. |
7/8/04
Cool Runningz brings the urban. When not in the club they can be found in the Extra Specials section (see below). |
6/24/04
We're looking for someone to help sell advertising for us. Experience is preferred but not necessary. This job is perfect for students and part-time workers. Ideally we'd like to find someone that is already interested in LA music/art/party culture and appreciates what we have to offer. If you'd like some more info drop us an email: advertising@franmagazine.com
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6/24/04
Hey Shannon, Happy Birthday.
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6/23/04
We were interviewed for the current issue of Flaunt Magazine. You can download a pdf of the article right here.
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6/18/04
There's a new section on the site. It's called Extra Specials and it has a bunch of stuff in it. Probably the funnest thing for you would be to download the MASH gameboard (.pdf). Did anyone see the Ray Charles memorial on TV today? Are they supposed to show dead bodies?
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6/9/04
Nevermind that last news bit, we now have a theme for our Kiosk Jam. It's going to be an office party in honor of Fred Savage. Pretend like you just got an email from Belinda in accounting and head down to the 4th floor conference room for cake and awkward conversation. Click here for a .pdf of the flier:
The Kiosk Jam will be on Sunday, the 13th, around 2 pm at Melrose and Genesee (on the east side of Fairfax High by the flea market).
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6/8/04
Oh shit, we just realized that we're having another Kiosk Jam and minature street faire this Sunday. Fuck, we're unprepared again. Our brains are so filled up with kittens, the law, girls and power point presentations that we forgot to set a theme for the jam. Maybe it'll be "white trash front yard?" We could get a kiddie pool, a rusty radiator, Old Style cases and a bug zapper. We'll have a fake tattoo application booth... no that's a dumb and played out idea. If you have any good theme ideas send them to us at idears@franmagazine.com and if we like it we'll send you a t-shirt or something.
The Kiosk Jam will be on Sunday, the 13th, around 2 pm at Melrose and Genesee (on the east side of Fairfax High by the flea market).
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6/2/04
Oh My Gawd Gurls!
Put the Giggle into Overdrive!!
It's LA's Latest Hunksters!!!
The Mae Shi
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5/19/04
Movie Reviews will be up soon.
The May/June issue is on the streets and some of the articles are up here. Man, what do you guys think of the Kanye West song, School Spirit? I've had it on repeat all morning cause I'm prepping myself for a trip to Chicago. It's perfect like pancakes, fluffy with syrup. "I feel a woo coming on cuz, a couple woos coming on cuz...WOO WOO... there they was." If I were still in school I'd drop out. I leave for Chicago tonight and one of our Middle Western correspondents is collecting sidebars and captions for me to bring back. He makes a mouthwatering green sauce that's perfect on burritos.
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5/05/04
We're working hard on the new issue. It's going to be celebrity-themed. I know what you're thinking, "It's about time," right? Look for it at coffee shops, skate shops, bars, records stores and wherever else you find free magazines in Los Angeles, starting around the 14th or so. Or, help us out and subscribe.
Expect:
•2Mex holding a balloon!
•Miniature Motorcycles!
•The Orphans!
•Democrats at the movies!
•Asses!
•Explogasm!
•Love at Watts Towers
•Just a tinge of spring depression!
•Much, much more! (i.e. douche toobin')
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4/15/04
The Bookhouse Boys are a band from Eastern Oregon that seem to have cornered roaring madness. They sometimes send us entries from their tour diary. Click here to read some.
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4/8/04
Jesus is coming back this weekend!
And so is the FRAN KIOSK!!!
Fran will be down at Triangle Park on Sunset and Griffith Park Blvd with games of Mash and Fishsticks to celebrate. It's on Saturday, April 10th, around 1pm.
Download the flier right here (it's a pdf):
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3/24/04
New Fran's on the fuckin' streets! It's like an especially poignant moment in an intensely dramatic movie for the reason that will come in the next sentence. It's POWERFUL. This shit is moving! This issue focuses on one of the great many problems facing our world.
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3/12/04
The new issue is printing right now!
It'll be available March 16th and a bunch of articles will be online early next week. It's full of sweet, sensitive thoughts; warm bitter tears; and not being total ass-whipe spazzes anymore! Oh jeez, I think you'll like the articels about why LA's fun again, the tear out MASH game and the turd jokes. Look for it in coffee shops, skate shops, records stores, bars and wherever else free magazines are given away in and around Los Angeles and Oranges Counties. Or you can subscribe (it'd help us out).
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2/17/04
We're sleeping in wormwood barrels to enhance creativity.
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1/30/04
...I know...
...Winter is crazy fucking sad...
...Jesus, wouldn’t it be nice to have some free snacks and beverages and play some MASH to figure out who your husband/wife and car will be?
Aren’t you just dying for some cheeseball Spanish techno and paper hats?
...Surprise Guys!
We Have All That !
At our Kiosk Appearance. Sunday February 8th at at the 3600 block of Sunset, in Silverlake–Sunset and Edgecliffe (at that little park, where Griffith Park blvd. meets Sunset)
Noon – 4pm!
Click Here to download the flier (it's a pdf):
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1/21/04
We're hard at work on our third issue (not including the European demo issues). It's shaping up to be the best yet, chock full of inane hilarity and downright necessary socio-artistic commentary. Plus history shaping games like MASH! We're still looking for writers and ad salesfolk, so let us know if you're good at either: macho@franmagazine.com or advertising@franmagazine.com .
Below are some quotes from John Cage, a very smart musician who is most famous for his composition, 4' 33", a song that is played on piano and divided into three movements. All the notes are silent.
"The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason."
He said something about our magazine, too: "If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all."
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12/21/03
October/November issue archives are up. (check out the 400 Blows interview) I'd have the rest done, but we've been hanging out at the beach, playing vollyball and listening to Sum 41. I know you are all like "get it done, already," and we're like, "I don't want to waste my time. become another casualty of society. I'll never fall in line. Become another victim of your conformity."
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11/05/03
Our new favorite thing is D batteries. They are HUGE!
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10/23/03
Our new issue’s being delivered this week to LA and Orange counties. It’s free and gots interviews with Aceyalone and 400 Blows. Some of the other articles can be found here! On the website! We’re going on a Midwest tour to sample apple cider doughnuts, play cowboys and hopefully get a talking to from somebody with a dirtied blue collar about what it’s like to work some shit-ass job and come home to a thankless walrus of a old lady. We’re working on the website. It should be done with Archives and all soon.
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10/19/03
“My son's name is Harry and he's 9 and loves the website more than I do. Can you believe it? he likes Andrew [editor] cuz he thinks it would be fun to sleep over at his house. He says to me- Harry does - He says, " Mom...? Can you imagine what a house with that many animals must be like - it must be like a zoo!" I smiled and laughed cuz he was ply right. he likes B.J. [Hammes, contributing photographer] cuz magic's fun and he thinks Mark [Douglas, contributing music editor] is funny cuz he looks like a foreigner. He thinks Sam [editor] is cute like a weasal. "LIKE A WEASAL," I SAID. “Rrrrrr....!!!!!”
Websites are funny inventions like stop lights, which were a good idea for an invention, cuz they save LIFES! I've got scissors up my nose and my toothbrush smells like paint thinner again. I like this house a lot - it reminds me of a phone booth. We live in a caboose on the corner of 5th and Wellmont. Please come visit. We eat chicken fingers for every meal - usually pinkys. Santa came to visit last year and brought laffy taffy and hearing aids. What's that you say...? Oh I know I'm a pretty lady, but a sad one, too. Daddy left with the cleaning lady cuz she smelt like stetson and lemon pleadge. Now I'm cleaning baby bottoms all by my lonesome. Dirty diapers go out the winda. That's what I said - out the winda. WhOOPPPEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep up the good work, fellas. You make us moms proud to raise kids.
Yours bluely,
Kathy - the happiest lonely-mom in the world.
PS - Harry said to tell you he likes all the video games you have to offer - especially the one with the cotton candy and space gondoliers. He's learning to read and write now and when he does he'd like to write you all and invite you to his b-day party, which will be in Cancun - if the accident will.”
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10/14/03
Today we are diligently working on an article about pocket change and why it tastes like wieners.
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