I’m back in America on a roadtrip with Beej. These posts are all gonna end up out of order, because we started in Illinois and this part is Colorado. Here’s what Colorado life looks like…

Smoking American Spirits makes me feel like I’m on a healthy diet because that’s what Indians used them for.

Here we are in Badger Basin. The Aspen look great.

I got out of the car!

See: Badger Basin. Read that other sign; I didn’t see it ’til just now.

This is what we bought. One of the magnets is a polar bear hating on Mondays and the other is a cougar kitten napping until he wins the lottery. The wolf’s name is Buck.

This is what he looks like when he has to pee super bad.

Here’s Colorado Western State the next day. These are the dorms Brady lived in. He lost his virginity in the silver pick-up up there on the right (just kidding).

Here’s what walking to class looks like. Brady said the girls there weren’t very cute, but we decided they just wear frumpy jeans.

Here’s what Brady walking to class looks like if you were like, “Hey, Beej, turn around for a picture.”

This is what Brady walking on campus looks like if he doesn’t even know you’re taking a picture of him.

Brady pretty much created Western’s film program, which may not sound too impressive because it’s a small college kind of in the middle of nowhere, but when’s the last time you invented a university program, fuck-face? (Experimental Punk music/lesbo poetry doesn’t count.) His professors wanted him to go talk to the class but he was real shy about it.

A street so nice they named the state after it. (Check out the gold miner font!)

We drove to Crested Butte later. You can get anything but people jerky there.

I liked the shop signs a lot.

haha

…on so many levels!

Being in the mountains again is fucking awesome.

The trash cans are bear proof!

The municipality pays people in weed to paint the buses!

There’s chrome artists!

We ate sandwiches later. My mom had packed us a cooler and even wrote our names on our sandwiches. (I sent her an email to ask how she knew what Brady liked; there’s still no results.) I ate like nine stringed cheeses the day before and got a sour belly.

Andy’s mom is one of the nicest moms that ever lived. I’d only known her for two days and she already knew that I liked turkey with cheese and mayo. We’re also both big fans of The Sound and Fury. It’s gonna be real hard for Andy to ever find a girl that can live up to me.

Update from my mom! “So you liked the little name tags on the sandwiches! I just didn’t think Brady was a mustard kind of guy!”

We had a sampler at Crested Butte brewery. It was good stuff. The bartender was about 4′ 10′’ and it was funny to watch her carry the big trays around.

The white buffalo beer was my favorite.

That’s where you can catch fresh pow and even fresher nugs straight ahead.

Here’s where we parked. No one has said anything is “tits” so far, so I hardly feel like I’m in Colorado.

Even pee breaks are beautiful in Colorado!

I was still peeing.

Brady tells me that Western’s ‘W’ is the biggest university logo in all of the US.

I wish we’d taken a picture of every carved bear we saw. They get way better than this.

I met an Australian man in the bathroom line at a gas station. Outside the door was a sign that said “Toilet 5¢”. He said, “Excuse me mate, whea do I put me five cents?” I told him it was just decoration.

Here’s the hot tub at our hotel.

We just came from there.