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EXPLOGASM
The word “cheeseball” is often tossed around rather liberally when describing Explogasm. The word’s usage here is founded in reality, for sure. They wear silly costumes on stage; have created alter-egos, such as MC 900 Foot Penis and LLcoolAIDS; and they make goofy raps, full of pop-culture references, on songs like “Soccer Mom Sex”. Their shows seem to be more rooted in comedy performance than musical concert. They’re jokey. And that’s almost what they’re all about. I mean, you’re not going to think a song with lyrics like, “No pants, just Stamos/He’s so fucking pretty/He’s a full house of ass/But his acting is shitty…” is to be accepted as sincere commentary. But they make good music, too. Sure, the lyrics are silly, but look where that shit got the biggest crossover group of all time–The Beastie Boys. Maybe Explogasm won’t be that big, but they have a kick-ass t-shirt with an adorable fetus on the belly. And they’re new single, “The Battle, Vol. 1”, is all set to blow minds and heat up the beaches of Southern California this summer. It’s a dis song about The Moving Units and can be downloaded from their website (www.explogasm.com).
What's the mission of Explogasm as a whole?
MC 900 ft penis: I think that the mission of Explogasm is to liberate the millions of young men and women brainwashed by the semi-fascist masculine-dominated mindset, which commercial gangster rap is forcing upon the public at large, and instilling a positive image of the female as a powerful and beautiful creature, while picking up as many bitches and hoes as possible for ourselves along the way.
DJ Tanner: Our mission is to breakdown the paradigm of corporate sponsored filth and the heterodoxy of a misogynistic patriarchy imbedded into co-modified youth culture. Oh yeah, and bend over some bitches.
What do the individual members bring to the table?
MC 900 ft penis: Well, I think of Explogasm like Voltron. The Captain is the head–after all, he makes the fuckin’ beats. LL Cool Aids is the body and soul, the Osiris of this shit, the heart which truly drives the luxurious beast. The Pussy Twins: Jewsie. Jess and Abby Abortion, are the foundation upon which all else is built–hence, they are the legs. Herpy Handcock is the sword, the weapon of choice for dealing with inferior suckas. DJ Tanner and stevie Jacuzzi are the arms, providing the invaluable muscle that helps enforce our morals and positive messages of female empowerment. DJ Khate is the secret weapon, a rocket hand which flies outward and smites those enemies who stand too far away for us to reach, if we are ever knocked down. While they stand there, laughing and thinking we are vanquished, Khate flies off and socks them in the gut, Boo-Ya style. What does that leave for me, MC 900 Foot Penis, you may ask? I am the almighty Cock of this Motherfucker, laying Bitches to waste and inspiring both fear and envy in the heart of inferior males worldwide.
Do you ever fake it?
Capt. Awesome: Only if it's for money.
DJ Tanner: When I fake, I usually just pull out and spit on the bitch's back if we're doing it Snoop Dogg style, otherwise I only fake Apollo Moon Landings.
Do you find yourself constantly working to get love, affection and intimacy from your partner?
stevie Jacuzzie: What is this? Cosmo?
Herpy Hancock: No, we just do it all the time–have sex that is…all…the…time.
When you talk to your partner about your relationship, do you feel supported and understood?
Jewsie. Jess: Talk? Who talks when there’s cock to be sucked?
Do you express your honest feelings to your partner?
DJ Tanner: I'm very communicative, but then again, it's hard to talk seriously with a 14-year-old.
Do you give others the "silent treatment"?
LLcoolAIDS: Only when she’s asking for a paternity test.
stevie Jacuzzi: What, like stuffing my ugly into their mouth? That usually works.
DJ Tanner: I usually get the silent treatment after sex, but that's mostly because the dead don't talk.
Have you become emotionally cold and numb inside?
DJ Tanner: I only go numb after an hour of Anal Kegels.
Do you feel that your partner is distant from you even when you are lying beside them in bed?
Capt. Awesome: That's what the harness is for.
Do you wonder where the love you and your partner used to show toward one another has gone?
stevie Jacuzzi: I'll tell you exactly where women's love goes: their thighs. Seriously one day you’re, you know, like enjoying the shit out of karma doggy anal style or whatever, and the next you know, you can’t even work up the effort to squeeze the bitch outta her jeans.
Abby Abortion: Love means a punch in the stomach when my period is late.
LLcoolAIDS: I don’t really care
Do you believe romantic love fades with time?
stevie Jacuzzi: Well, that depends on the term romantic, or at least its context. If by ‘romantic love’ you mean the literary movements that occurred as a backlash to the massive industrial revolutions
taking place in Western Europe and the United States–the movements that placed man as a mere speck in nature–those poets, writers and painters who valued the metaphysical aspect of a stroll though a lime bower, or the images upon a Grecian urn...then I don’t believe that kind of passion can ever fade away. But if you mean those romance Fabio cover novels in the supermarket...that doesn’t fade either, because, while soccer moms and stay at home women or whatever might get older and faded, the next generation is coming up right after them. Sure, in a non-platonic sense, they do fade away, and so does my love, but the idea, the notion that there’s a fresh crop sprouting next, an endless supply, if you will, then no it doesn’t fade either.
Can you be affectionate with your partner without it leading to sex?
LLcoolAIDS: HAHAHAHAHAHA, NO! Go hang out with Morrissey you fucking hippie.
Jewsie. Jess: Yeah, there are also blow jobs to be given
DJ Tanner: Well I can, but only during sex.
Do you ever seek the comfort from sources other than your partner (i.e.: from family, television, drugs, Internet friends, casual sexual encounters)?
stevie Jacuzzi: Just live to get radical.
DJ Tanner: Gin, Quaaludes, and Kegel exercises.
Herpy Hancock: I do drugs as much as I do sex–it's all the same to me–get laid, get loaded, get loaded, get laid. Cock–coke–booze–booty–you get the picture . . . love, Herpy
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www.explogasm.com
Volume 2, Issue 3 contents |
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