Crowd of Thorns
Billy Graham Fills the Rose Bowl
by Ted Stahl

Remember the raucous power of your first stadium show? The lights. The crowd’s intensity. All those passionate fans together for the same reason. You could feel the electricity in the air. The onstage rocking was so far away, but it didn’t matter because you knew all the words. Words about hanging out with your buddies, drinking wine and getting stoned. Words like, “A man who walks by day will not stumble, for he sees by this world’s light/It is when he walks by night that he stumbles, for he has no light.” Wooo! Christ, right? Everybody’s cheering like mad at this point. It’s frenzied—a show of Biblical proportions! Who else could sell out a 90,000+ stadium four nights in a row, but The King, Himself. The King of Kings. He’s everywhere you look these days—literally EVERYWHERE! He’s more than a man. He’s a god! I recently had the privilege of seeing our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, live in concert at the Rose Bowl! Backed by none other than Soul Savior #1, Billy Graham!

Billy Graham’s 2004 Greater Los Angeles Crusade began on Thursday, November 18th and continued through the following Sunday. We went on Saturday, planning to catch the youth oriented program featuring the great Xtian Rockerz: Kutless, Tait and Third Day, but were surprised to find that we were the only ones interested in tailgating when we arrived around 7. Most everyone else that passed us, as we celebrated our love of Christ over some malt liquor and Bacardi Limon, seemed interested mainly in looking neat and acting square. What we were up to wasn’t technically tailgating, actually, but more like carpartying, as we were afraid that, although it is the language of the King James Bible, the use of Olde English might not be appreciated on the premises.

I didn’t find out until today, as I did some back research, that the joke was actually on us. Not only had some tailgating gone on that day, but we’d actually missed the biggest tailgate party EVER. From Billy Graham’s website: “Held on the Jackie Robinson Memorial Field, just outside the Rose Bowl, the ‘World’s Largest Tailgate Party’ served fresh-cooked In-N-Out burgers to more than 6,000 underprivileged and homeless persons [some of whom had been bussed in for the occasion]. Then they were honored by being invited into the Rose Bowl to sit in a special, ‘V.I.P.’ section[!]”

Whoa. And here we were drinking through our sweater sleeves so no one would notice. It felt like we were headed to a high school dance inside the car, like we’d shown up to the concert of the summer and were suddenly surrounded by thousands of narcs. Everyone that walked passed our car seemed to be taking a suspicious look around them, mentally securing the place. They looked over their shoulders, bent down slightly to look into cars and turned their bodies slowly as they walked and talked. Eventually walking backward to be certain that no one was sneaking any unannounced fun in behind them.

The man in the car next to us, after pulling to a stop, turned off the engine, straightened the rearview mirror, checked the glovebox, and then got down to the business of lotioning himself. He lotioned his face and neck thoroughly. Got up under his eyes and behind his ears. Did the bridge of his nose and the upper lip. Finally finishing off the face with a second vigorous turn at the cheeks. He went to work on his hands next, and moved up along the wrists, arms and elbows, quickly but efficiently. His newly moisturized features didn’t change much. He looked determined, as if at work, not necessarily any happier to have moisture-rich skin. It was simply another part of the day for him. But then, he hadn’t even begun with the lip balm yet. He pulled the balm applicator from the center console, removed the cap assuredly and turned the balm-advancing knob a good 1080° or so, until the waxy stick extended at least a quarter of an inch beyond its plastic nesting place. Then he applied it. He passed the top lip, back and forth, four or five times. Did the same with the bottom. Next, he pursed his lips a bit and traced them with the balm, circularly, many times. Very many times. It seemed as if his lips should’ve been thoroughly coated by now, to the point of sticking together a bit when he opened his mouth, leaving little waxy threads standing out from the lips. He wasn’t quite yet finished, however. There was a short, though altogether sweet, finale of lip protection. He needed only nip a bit of the balm into the corners of his mouth, and here, here, and th-er-e on the very top of the lip and it was completed. He turned the wheel of the applicator back down, rubbed his lips together a bit, and returned the cap to the top of the applicator in celebration. This all took about 5 minutes and it was the most exciting part of the evening. Fortunately, he had a bit more neatening to show off. He stepped from the car, patted himself down with a wallet and key check and closed the door. He inserted some chewing gum and made sure all the doors were locked. Next he began to straighten his jacket—it took a minute; he wanted it looking fresh. Then all he had to do was retie his shoes, fix his pant cuffs and straighten up the knees before he was off to bask in God’s love.

Inside, the Rose Bowl was packed. In the 4 days Billy Graham was in town, over a half million people went through the gates. As Christianity has recently become more of a point of contention in the US than ever, I finally bore witness to the massive power Christians possess as a political block. Certainly a lot of the people in attendance came from some of the more traditionally Republican leaning regions, like Orange County. But Southern California, as a whole, is supposedly pretty far Left. Our man Billy Graham was able to mobilize 500,000 Bible humping (semi)maniacs in mere days. And he called it a Crusade! Holy shit! We’re fucked!

Most of the kids we talked to were very nice, however, and seemingly very intelligent. They were well-spoken, on the whole. They had ideas, for sure—they just didn’t seem to have been formed individually. One of the things that’s always confounded me about strongly Christian youths (I went to 12 years of Catholic school), is their frequent assertion that Christian faith, belief in God, is somehow an escape from peer pressure. I heard a bit of that one that night. They say that God guides them away from peer pressure. “It’s cool to have something different to believe in than just partying and drugs.” Hey kids, have you ever talked to someone that’s been Born Again? Peer pressure is pretty much their whole purpose. Ever wonder why some Jews celebrate Christmas? Ever heard of the Spanish Inquisition? Any ideas why Penitentes are (all) totally fucking nuts, or why half of Africa’s Christian? It sure as hell isn’t because they’re all free-thinking, non-conformists. When an estimated 1/3 of all people on the earth would say that they fit into your group, you’re not exactly a socio-philosophical trailblazer.

That said, I went ahead and got converted that night. I walked out onto the field when Billy called for people who wanted to accept Jesus into their lives. Dave (my counselor) and I did a workbook together. I learned how the crucifix can be wedged into a crevasse between cliffs to help save the world. After I signed a card affirming that I had spiritually (and legally, I guess) accepted Jesus into my life, we had a little prayer together. Dave thanked God for my presence there and for saving my soul. He thanked Billy Graham for bringing us together. He implored God to give me the strength to finish my workbook and learn more of His teachings. He told God that it wouldn’t take much to do the workbook, just a few minutes a day, perhaps. He asked God to help me find a place of worship in my area. Finally, he asked God to remind me to email him, so we could keep in touch.